Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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