Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
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He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
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I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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