I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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