Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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