im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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