My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize