my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize