The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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