My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize