I puked a lego.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize