I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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