I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
