I think I died a long time ago.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize