As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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