in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize