You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
