how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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