Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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