it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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