That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
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