Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm sobbing to NWA
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
