I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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