I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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