i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
