YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
