i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
