So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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