matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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