FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
