their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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