the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This baby is an asshole
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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