.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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