Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
