Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it glows. i had to have it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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