frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
