I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
either way he was missing a nipple.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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