This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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