Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize