I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize