The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
