She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
