Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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