im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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