just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
