he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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