I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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