fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
