Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
