It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
