I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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