Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.