all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.