im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
