They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
