would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
