i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
